build a kingdom to rule

Sometimes all I want is to go fight for all of you, cause everytime I wince like my head's hitting the floor so hard I won't rebound. And sometimes all I want is for someone to notice that a smile is just a muscle contraction. And sometimes I want someone to know I'm keeping count, and letting myself down, but not far enough. And sometimes I forget, so I leave myself notes, abbreviating everything into single-letters. And some times I forget the letters. And sometimes I forget what I want, and sometimes I forget to want, and sometimes I forget there's anything else. anyone else. And sometimes none of it should matter, and I hate that it does.

so this is the new year

If I try I can still feel your hand on my hip and I hope to god it means something.  A broken zipper in fits and starts, hurling through space and coming up short.
Add it to the list.